Mermaids

The Ultimate List Of Mermaid Jokes, Puns & One-Liners

The funniest and best jokes about the mermaids and life under the sea, plus fishy one-liners and the finest mermaid puns.

March 03, 2018

Photo: canstockphoto.co.uk

Photo: canstockphoto.co.uk

This page is more than six years old.

Q: Why do mermaids always know their weight?

A: They have their own scales.

Q: What does a mermaid wear to maths class?

A: An alge-bra.

Q: What did the mermaid she shaking at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A nervous wreck.

Q: Why was the mermaid embarrassed?

A: She saw the ship's bottom.

Q: Where does a mermaid sleep?

A: A waterbed.

Q: Why did the mermaid swim across the ocean?

A: To get to the other tide.

Q: Where do mermaids see movies?

A: At the dive in.

Q: Where does a mermaid keep her money?

A: In a riverbank.

Q: Why don't mermaids play tennis?

A: They might get caught in the net.

Q: Why do mermaids live in saltwater?

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze.

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Q: How did the octopus make the mermaid laugh?

A: Ten tickles.

Q: Why was the mermaid at the bottom of the ocean?

A: She dropped out of school.

Q: Why did the mermaid look the other way?

A: Because the seaweed.

Q: How do you communicate with a mermaid?

A: Drop her a line.

Q: What part of a mermaid weighs the most?

A: The scales.

Q: Why won't oysters lend money to mermaids?

A: Because they're shellfish.

Q: Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet?

A: On line.

Q: What did the mermaid say to the rock pool?

A: Show me your mussels.

Q: What did the sea say to the mermaid?

A: Nothing, it just waved.

Q: What do you call a mermaid with a chair on her head?

A: Richie

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