My Illuminati Mentor Gets Back In Touch After Seven Years

Almost seven years ago, I had an amusing exchange with a scammer named James White, who was attempting to recruit me into the Illuminati.

The conversation, which started after he left a comment on my website, quickly turned into a game of endurance as I wasted six hours of his time with ridiculous questions and deliberately confusing responses. You can read that original chat in full here.

James, who claimed to be an Illuminati initiation agent, made some wild promises of wealth, power, and secret knowledge but struggled with the finer details of the so-called organisation's rules. Our chat covered everything from the supposed sacrifices of celebrities to the precise definition of "regular dues," and at one point, I even convinced him that Walmart sold white cowries and mustard seeds for Illuminati rituals.

Now, nearly seven years later, James has reappeared - completely unaware that we've spoken before - and is once again trying to lure me into his scheme. Naturally, I took the opportunity to waste as much of his time as possible all over again. Here's how our second encounter played out...

James White: Good day brother. How are you doing?

Steve: Hello, nice to hear from you again. I'm good, thanks. How about you?

James White: I'm good, brother. I hope you can still remember who you are talking with.

Steve: Yeah, I can. Your name was James White and you were an initiation agent for the blessed illuminati and I had a lot of fun chatting to you.

James White: Since then I travel out of the country. I came back this year January so I said let me message you.

Steve: Oh that's very nice of you. Thanks for checking in!

James White: Are you no longer interested to become a member of the Illuminati?

Steve: I did actually proceed with my application. We last spoke in July 2018 and by December I'd joined the Kensington temple, and I made it to second degree in 2021.

James White: That is great I love that.

Steve: The Illuminati has really changed my life and it's all thanks to you!

James White: So how is everything going now?

Steve: Yeah, excellent. I'm currently reading the texts with my grand master for third degree. So, hopefully by summer I'll make the third. How about you? How are things in the KingsleeKwebelem temple?

James White: Everything is working good. How will I be sure that you have really a member?

Steve: I don't know.

James White: Show me your ID card and your membership form.

Steve: Haha, ID card. Good one! The secret society with an ID card, that's a new one.

James White: I don't think you are full member already. Are you sure you were not scam did you send any money to anybody?

Steve: Of course it's not a scam. I go to the meetings - the second Thursday of every month.

James White: All right. No problem. I am going to verify it.

Steve: Uhhh, ok.

James White: So how are you now going to thank me?

Steve: By doing words with my finger keys?

James White: How much are you sending to me now.. as appreciation?

Steve: Sending you? You don't need money! You're a brother. None of us need money.

James White: I need money.

Steve: Why? Have you left your temple? The temple will give you everything you need.

At this point, James seemed to realise that his latest attempt at recruitment had backfired. Having spent years peddling the idea that Illuminati membership grants limitless wealth and power, he now found himself in the awkward position of asking for money. His claims of being a high-ranking initiation agent were at odds with his sudden financial struggles, and when pressed on whether he had left the temple, he simply stopped replying.

Perhaps he finally recognised that he wasn't going to get anything from me, or maybe he was just too busy moving on to the next potential target. Either way, after almost seven years, our bizarre game of cat and mouse had come full circle. It turns out that even the most persistent scammers eventually run out of patience.