Wednesday Addams' 15 Darkest Quotes
This article is more than five years old and was last updated in April 2022.
With The Addams Family set to return to the big screen this Halloween in an all new animated feature film, we've been remembering some of our favourite moments from the 1990s movies, 'The Addams Family' and 'The Addams Family Values'.
Below are Wednesday's 15 most disturbing moments...
"And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground."
Joel: Wednesday, do you think that maybe someday you might want to get married and have kids?
Wednesday: No.
Joel: But what if you met the right man, who worshiped and adored you? Who'd do anything for you? Who'd be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?
Wednesday: I'd pity him.
"Are they [the cookies] made from real Girl Scouts?"
"Be afraid. Be very afraid."
Wednesday: If I wanted to kill my husband, I'd do it, and I wouldn't get caught.
Joel: How?
Wednesday: I'd scare him to death.
"Bring forward the evil one. You have betrayed the people of France. You are evil incarnate. How do you plead? Guilty! By her own admission! The sentence is death. Executioner, place her on the block."
"This is my costume. I'm a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else."
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"...and so, the next night, the ghost returned to the haunted cabin. And he said to the campers, "None of you really believe in me, so I'll have to prove my power." And the next morning, when the campers woke up, all of their old noses had grown back."
"Hello Polly, I'll clean my room. In exchange for your immortal soul."
"Pugsley, the baby weighs ten pounds, the cannonball weighs twenty pounds. Which will hit the stone walkway first?"
"How all occasions do inform against me and spur my dull revenge. Oh, from this time forth, my thoughts be bloody or nothing worth. If I must strike you dead, I will."
"Come, sorrow; we welcome thee. Let us join in grief, rejoice in despair, and honour the fortunate dead."
"Oh proud Death, what feast is toward in thine eternal cell? Sweet Oblivion, open your arms."
"Everyone knows it, when you have a new baby, one of the other children has to die."
"I can't swim."
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